new stuff

New blog: riverrattavern.blogspot.com

New email: jenny.mae.98@gmail.com

New appreciation for those in the food and beverage industry. Now back to work!

Holy Crap I'm Tired

Being a business owner is hard. Good bye social life, hello working 12 hours a day so that one of these days I might be able to make my loan payments. But I would still do this over studying for the bar exam any day. It's waaaaay more fun. We had our first event at the Rat last weekend - the Columbia River Yacht Club from Portland booked us for a private party. The Captain, my brother, and my friend Jennifer helped bartend - it was a lot of fun and they said they're going to come back next year. Here are some pics of the party and the improvements in the bar -

The Rat

Here's the first set of pics from my bar, the River Rat - it looks better than this now, but I'll post those pics later...

Everyone likes kitties (and I will do anything to avoid studying)

The Home Stretch

Two exams down, one more exam to go! Yeeah, bitches!

The Captain's worst nightmare

Man Describes Alleged Attack By 7 Lesbians In N.J.

Claims '06 Incident Was Hate Crime Against Straight Man

(CBS/AP) NEW YORK A man who was beaten and stabbed after a street fight with seven avowed lesbians testified Wednesday that he thought he was going to die after they jumped him last year.

"I remember being surrounded, my hands up in my face," Dwayne Buckle testified at the trial of four of the women. "I went up into a defensive position. I felt a nick in my abdomen. I had my two hands in front of my face."

He said he didn't realize he had been stabbed.

"Somebody told me I was stabbed," he said. "As soon as he said that, I felt it. I lay down on my knapsack. I was hollering and screaming. I felt like I was going to die."

Buckle, 29, said he was in a hospital for five days and in bed at his Queens home for a month after undergoing surgery for a lacerated liver and stomach. He said he also suffered cuts, bruises, scratches and an eye injury in the attack.

Buckle, who has called the incident "a hate crime against a straight man," was testifying in Manhattan's state Supreme Court at the trial of Patreese Johnson, 20, Renata Hill, 25, Venice Brown, 19, and Terrain Dandridge, 20, all of Newark, N.J.

The defendants are charged with first- and second-degree assault and gang assault. Johnson, accused of stabbing Buckle, also is charged with second-degree attempted murder. All have pleaded not guilty.

Three of the seven women pleaded guilty to assault charges in exchange for sentences of six months in jail and five years probation.

Buckle, a movie audio-video engineer and an independent filmmaker, said the fight started outside the Independent Film Center in lower Manhattan, where he was trying to sell videos he had made. He said that as the women walked by, he spoke to one of them because he found her attractive.

Buckle said a heavyset woman in the group said something rude.

"She just started dogging me out, being loud and disrespectful," he said. "I think I called her an elephant and told her I wasn't talking to her."

Buckle said she spoke disparagingly of his looks and clothing, saying he was wearing cheap sneakers. Meanwhile, another woman spat on him and he spat back.

The women surrounded and attacked Buckle, he said. After a few minutes, he said, the fight subsided and he began picking up his DVDs from the sidewalk.

"Someone attacked me from behind," Buckle said. "One girl called for some guys to come beat me up. A guy got me on the floor (sidewalk), and I was jumped again."

Assistant District Attorney Sharon Laveson told the jury in opening statements that surveillance video will show that Johnson pulled a steak knife from her purse and stabbed Buckle with it.

Johnson admits she slashed Buckle with a knife but says she did it in self-defense, according to papers filed by prosecutors at her arraignment. Johnson's statement says she pulled out her knife after Buckle grabbed her arm and spat on one of her friends.

"As I got my knife, Renata hit him for spitting," Johnson's statement says. "Then everyone jumped in because he is a man. Then some young men had helped us. After that we walked away. I admit I did cut him one time for my own safety."

Batman Redux

A compelling cinematic experience (and a good study break)...

Last Day of Hell

Today is the last day that I will ever take another law school class. I'm a little sad, but the second year that is sitting next to me in the LRC giving first years the most horrible, arrogant advice ever reminds me that I can't wait to get tha fuck out of here. See ya suckers!!

That Time of Year

It's the last week before finals. It's the time of year where I stop wearing makeup and trying to look decent because I just don't have the time. As usual, I have fallen through on my plan to study throughout the semester and now I'm cramming everything. Thank the lord that this is the last time I will ever have to take a final exam. I don't know if I can handle any more.

On a less depressing (or at least a different kind of depressing) note, I spent my weekend trying to get deep fryer grease off of every surface of the tavern that I'm hoping to have up and running by Memorial Day weekend. I need a new kitchen floor, new paint, a dishwasher, a refrigerator/freezer, a new window, sheetrock, plumbing that doesn't empty directly into the river, and an inspection of the appliances to make sure they work right. That's about it. Oh, and BEER. I'm going to need a keg to myself when this month is over. I'll also save one for my faithful blog readers - we'll all need it for one reason or another!

The wackos are loose

Most of the 5 people who read this blog already know that we had a security 'incident' at Lewis & Clark this morning when some tard came to school in a belt made of spent ammunition and the police freaked out. And now the whole world will know...this excerpt is from breitbart.com:

"At Oregon's Lewis & Clark College, another student was detained by campus police Wednesday shortly before a vigil for the Virginia Tech victims when he was spotted wearing an ammunition belt. Portland police later determined that it was "a fashion accessory" made of spent ammunition, and said the man did not have a weapon. The belt was confiscated."

Now, obviously this guy wasn't going to do anything...I think it's pretty clear that if someone really wanted to unload rounds into anyone, he'd go to the law school first. Even normal people hate lawyers.

They're famous!

This is the article about Earth Erotics that I mentioned a couple posts ago. Check it out!

Forget law, I'm gonna be a bartender

I took a big scary leap last weekend when I agreed to lease a space that used to be a bar. In figuring out what I need in order to be a business owner, I'm finding out that there are a LOT of requirements from everyone...the state, the county, the town, the health inspector, distributors...it's gonna be a lot of work. Apparently I need a dishwasher. And plumbing that doesn't empty right into the Columbia River. Just some small hurdles...but it's either this or be a lawyer. Since I decided that I could be a bar owner, I've actually woken up in the mornings NOT feeling as though I just want to pull the covers back over my head until the date for the bar exam has passed.

Anyway...I'll keep you posted on my progress...wish me luck!

Doing It Green

Two of my friends have started an online store that features earth-friendly, non-cancer-causing sex toys and bedroom products. It's a great idea, and they have a nice website with some fun stuff - check out Earth Erotics and also look for their mention in next week's Willamette Week!

I'm a hippie

The group that I sing with has been asked to play in the Northwest Folklife Festival in Seattle. Maybe I'll get discovered!

Happy Good Friday

I love Easter. I mostly love the getting jelly beans part. But I also like that it's kind of like New Year's Eve in that I get to use the 'spiritual rebirth' theme to make resolutions to be a better person. This year, however, I've decided that I'm perfect and don't need to change. :) Instead, I'm going to give a dollar to the guy who stands outside Wal-Mart with his cardboard sign.

Total random fact of the day (because Twinkies are awesome):

The Twinkie was invented by bakery manager James Dewar, who made thrifty use of shortcake pans that had previously been used only during the strawberry season. Twinkies originally contained a banana filling, but this was replaced with a vanilla filling during a banana shortage caused by the outbreak of World War II. Today, five hundred million Twinkies are produced each year.

Sad, Just Sad

I was waiting until something interesting, exciting or funny happened in my life before I posted a new message to this blog but unfortunately I may graduate before that happens. The last few weeks have been remarkably unremarkable. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I caught up on a lot of sleep and tv watching over the break and that was just what I wanted to do. So, that's all, and I apologize in advance for you having to waste 20 seconds of your life to read this.

simple, yet effective

*photo courtesy of my favorite activists, Jonas and Alliyah, who were part of the peaceful group in downtown Portland, not the crazy splinter group that got pepper-sprayed.

p.s. I am not expressing my views on the war, so don't go nuts on me in the comments, please (that means you, Captain Conservative).

Wedding Snag #1

It turns out that the Captain and I have very different ideas as to what our centerpieces are going to look like. Mine would look something like this:



The Captain's would look something like this:


This may take some time to work out...

Subsidize This

Almost $100,000 in law school debt accrued so far. Thanks for the reminder, Financial Aid Office!

Indiana 70, Gonzaga...I can't finish this sentence

I know it was a long shot, but it would have been nice to watch a few more games. I'm guessing the Captain's going to be leaving Sacramento early.

Gonna Be a Good Day

I had to get up at 6 this morning to take the Captain to the airport so he can see his beloved Zags play in Sacramento...this is the earliest I've been up in a long time. It's pretty nice though...despite the insane drivers on I-84, the drive was ok and the sunrise was awesome. Seems like it's going to be a good day.

Too Coincidental to be True

This was recently posted in a comment on my friend Turd Ferguson's blog. I thought it was too funny not to show here. (I swear it's not me.)

Did my ex-boyfriend write this?

For those of you who have known me forever, you will believe that one of my exes could have written this. Thank the Lord the Captain is normal.

boooorrrrriiinng

Absolutely nothing exciting happened last weekend, so I don't have a good story for the blog. I watched about 200 hours of home remodeling shows on HGTV, three shows on Animal Planet (Killer Ants, Killer Elephants, and Killer Crocs - I guess I like things that kill) and the Captain and I bartended at the annual hometown Chamber of Commerce Crab and Oyster feed. That was it. That's okay, though, I don't mind boring. It's better than homework.

I'm Gonna Live Forever

Nova's 'Science Now' quotes an expert on aging as suggesting that the life span of a human is about 120 years. I personally don't know anybody who has lived that long, but it would be great to have another 40 or so years to live, especially if scientists could improve quality of life after age 75. I don't want to be wrinkly and decrepit for 40 extra years. And if anyone makes a joke about me being wrinkly and decrepit now, I will kick you the next time I see you.

enlightening, kind of

I've been a little anxious lately - mostly about my future and if I'm doing what I really want to be doing, blah blah blah.... Then I found this quote, and it made me feel a little bit better:

There seem to two kinds of searchers: those who seek to make their ego something other than it is, i.e. holy, happy, unselfish (as though you could make a fish unfish), and those who understand that all such attempts are just gesticulation and play-acting, that there is only one thing that can be done, which is to disidentify themselves with the ego, by realizing its unreality, and by becoming aware of their eternal identity with pure being. - Fingers Pointing Toward the Moon by Wei Wu Wei

One question remains: how is ego disidentification gonna pay the bills so that the Captain can spend the rest of his life on the couch eating bon bons??

Registries are fun

My mom and I went to a Crate & Barrel registry event last weekend. We had some champagne and picked a bunch of stuff for people to buy for us when we get married (not my mom and me - jeez, I didn't write that very well). But it got me thinking. It's weird that we're putting a bunch of things on a list basically telling people that we expect them to buy us things. This is especially weird when there are a lot of people who don't have anything. I've always been a fan of blatant consumerism, but I felt awfully selfish as I was adding 8 martini glasses to the list.

We keep feeling more and more that we just want to have a party with some great food and music with the people that mean the most to us. That's all the gift we need.

Now quit reading this and go buy us a place setting.

Yay for sun

What a freakin awesome day. I celebrated the sun by not doing homework and going on a walk instead.



My new friends, Deux and Max, were out enjoying the sun, too.

Tribute

My high school drama instructor died last week of cancer. I acted in two plays under his direction - "Fiddler On the Roof" and "M*A*S*H". He was really demanding and tough on his actors, but he inspired everyone and I learned a lot about acting and even a little about myself. He will be missed by a lot of people. RIP.

Who's your mancrush?

There is actually a site that ranks men. I spent way too much time looking at it today. I was just surprised that Jesus only made #31!

Chill

It snowed at my house. I wanted to stay on my couch and have hot chocolate, but I went to class instead. I had to get some web-surfing done.

On a funnier note, right now a chick is screaming at her boyfriend in the LRC about how she has been waiting for him since 6:30 and it is so inconsiderate of him to make her wait until 6:40. This has been going on for 20 minutes. Poor guy.

My New Favorite

Be a Good Catholic

What are you going to give up for Lent?

This Week in Environmental Law

Professor Funk:

"...so you would just kill the fish? Ms. Johnson says, to hell with fish."

On a not embarrassing note, the Captain surprised me last night and showed up to take me out to dinner. He's the best fiance ever!

Happy Mardi Gras!

A few highlights of this year's events:

- James Gandolfini was the King of the biggest parade, Bacchus

- Bourbon Street is packed - a welcome change since Katrina

- Only 9 people shot as festivities started - things have slowed down a bit!

mmm...haggis

Last Saturday the Captain and I went to an annual Burns dinner at the local Scotsman's house in Skamokawa, Washington. For those of you who don't know what a Burns dinner is, it's basically an annual tribute to Scotland's poet, Robert Burns. (If you're dying to know even more, google it - they do this all over the world). It involves eating Scottish food and reading Burns' poetry. It is actually a lot more fun than it sounds.

At this particular party, guys wore their kilts and everybody drank lots of scotch whisky and red wine. Then the highlight of the evening - the haggis - was marched in with bagpipes and a poem was read that praised the virtue of haggis and made fun of French people and their food, which Scots apparently don't regard as very manly. Then we actually ate the haggis (I mostly mashed mine into potatoes to hide it) with mashed turnips ("neeps") and mashed potatoes ("tatties"). Then the Captain recited a poem praising the lassies present, and we drank more whiskey and wine. Lots of fun, despite having to eat something that was scraped out of the bowels of various farm animals. You should try it.

For $28K I should be able to get a fucking coca-cola!

I was going on my 8th hour on this campus (with 4 more to go) when I headed over to the LRC to nuke my dinner and grab a pop. It was a long day, and I really needed some caffeine if I was going to make it through Administrative Law and whatever it was we read for today. So, I took my dollar to the first pop machine by all the forks and stuff - it wouldn't go in. I took it to the second machine down the walkway - it wouldn't go in. Then, I took my dollar to the coffee-cart guy to get a pop out of his cooler, but he locked it and said he was closed. So I walked back to my table, fished three quarters out of my purse (I hate spending change!) and went back to the first pop machine. I put in my change and pressed the button for a Coke - sold out. I pressed the second button for a Coke Zero - sold out. I did the same for a Diet Coke - sold out. So on and so on until I got to the last button, which gave me a Black Cherry Vanilla Coke. I didn't even know those existed, but now I know why they shouldn't. Whoever invented that flavor should be kicked in the berries.

Needless to say, by this time I was pissed, and I started yelling at the frightened lady next to me, 'what the hell is wrong with this place? I just want a fucking pop!' She turned around (probably to reach for her mace) and I ran away. Then I spilled my Black Cherry Vanilla Coke, that it took me 20 minutes to get, on my computer. Laptops are waterproof, right?

I should probably go home but I still have to go to Admin. Yay.

Meet Duke Dog

Okay, since I got shit for the last post, here is one that has nothing to do with slapping women with goat strips.

Here is our dog, Dukie:
He is an 8 year old ball of energy. He likes to herd the cows in the neighbor's field, but right now the cows have ganged up on him and won't let him under the fence. He also loves treats and has figured out that, since he usually gets a treat when he sits and shakes, if he sits and puts his paw up in the air, he might get another one. I'm thinking about making him the ring-bearer at our wedding, but he has a bit of a drooling problem and he might make a mess. He'd look cute in a little tux collar, though.

To see where Duke Dog grew up before he came to us:

http://illaheeranch.com/index.php

Obligatory V-day post

Valentine's Day has traditionally been one of my least favorite holidays because everytime I had a boyfriend and thought I might get to celebrate it with someone other than my mom, he managed to break up with me beforehand, then somehow convince me to get back together afterwards. Thankfully, I've been able to celebrate with the same sweetie for four years now, so my view of this day has greatly improved.

In honor of this day, I thought I would share some of the history of V-day (thank you History Channel):

One legend says that Valentine's Day was created by the Catholic church in response to the Romans' naughty ways. The Romans would have a festival where members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.

The boys would then slice the goat's hide into strips, dip them in the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Roman women apparently liked this because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed.

Interesting.

I Suck at Being a Vegetarian

I recently decided that it's never too early to start getting in shape for the big day. I haven't worked out in way too long, and I ate nothing but sugar over Christmas break, so my first decision was to eat more healthy stuff. Since meat and sugar makes my tummy feel bad, I decided to try not eating any for a while. Here's how it's been going:

-this past week I've had soup with sausage, a hamburger, some steak, chili and chicken.
-the other night I had seven caramel-pecan bars
-I have ribs in the fridge that my mom made, and I plan on eating those because, you know, there are starving kids in Ethiopia and I'm pretty sure it's a sin to throw away food.

Maybe this next week will go better.

So far today...

I slept through my alarm, then dumped half a can of cappucino powder on myself. Not on purpose.

Happy Birthday, Captain

This past weekend, I took the Captain out for his birthday (he's 63 or something like that). Some of my friends came along - "Gus Buskansky," "Anastasia BeaverHausen," and "Anastasia's man." (No real names here!) We pre-funked with some jaeger and vodka (really shouldn't have), then went for dinner and a show of the pole-dancing variety, and just as I was thinking, 'oh good, i don't see anybody i recognize,' I meet the gaze of someone from my E-law class (no, not the funkster, although I would have been less surprised). He shrugged his shoulders and put his arms up in the air as if to say, 'where the hell am I? I don't know how I got here!'

Then we got a ride from a methadone-addicted cabbie to Devil's Point and watched some freaky go-go dancer chick rap group with about a hundred other people. At some point Gus disappeared to go have a spaz attack in the parking lot, but Gus was eventually found and the Captain and I hitched a ride home. It was a fun night - one that my parents would be proud to read about, I'm sure.

p.s.
In class this week, E-law introduced himself and said he doesn't know why everybody asks him where to find some good steak and tits.

Randy's in law school

There's a person in a couple of my classes who looks like Randy Quaid. And she's a girl.

No Food in the Library Bitches!

I was eating my dinner in the front part of the library (the loud part where the herd giggles about their Duran-Duran collection) when some large blond girl came over and said 'um, excuuuse me, but there is no food in the library so you'll have to move to Wood Hall.' I said, 'what are you talking about? Everyone eats in here!' She then said that she was aware of that and that the librarians were going to start a smack-down. She went away and came back with a little sticky note that she stuck to my table that says 'Please ---- NO FOOD in the library. Thank you for your cooperation.' I'm guessing she knows the meaning of the term passive-aggressive.

The librarians are gettin' serious, people! Alex, that means you can't eat your huge bag o' lunch in there anymore. Sorry.

This Week in Wills & Trusts

Right now we're talking about wives adopting their husbands so that a husband will be considered a child for the purpose of intestate succession. The result? Legally, Mommy is getting it on with her kid. I thought that only happened in the South.

This Week in Environmental Law

Professor Funk:

1) "I want to make a distinction clear. If you have an extra-marital affair, be discreet about it; if you want to separate yourself from everybody else, be discrete."

2) "Spawn and die. Not my idea of a good time, but that's what salmon do. Spawn and die."

Why don't people like this guy??

Last Weekend

This last Friday, I took my first step toward finding a career with less malpractice potential and no billable hours. I met with a professor at my hometown community college to talk about teaching law classes someday - it was an awesome meeting. To help me get my foot in the door, he's going to let me come to his Law and Education class and talk about the student-athlete drug testing case that I worked on a couple years ago, and if things go well, I may get to substitute-teach for him.

I also dog-sat the Captain's dog, Duke. Duke is a big, hairy Collie/German Shepherd mix who likes to roam, tries to catch bunnies and drools a lot. He also likes to get up at 4 in the morning to roll in the grass and he farts like a trucker. I love him.

On Sunday, I moved into my own apartment. It was weird - I liked having a roommate. For one, there's always someone to talk to when I'm putting off another reading assignment, and for two, I know that if there's a sound in the house, it's being made by another human being and not a bloodthirsty alien. Right as I was drifting off to sleep last night in my new place, I heard the sound of a plastic bag rustling - I was then wide awake for another hour. Apparently I'm not too old to be afraid of the dark.

So, that was my weekend...exciting stuff. What did you guys do?

What?!

I got this email from my cousin this morning:

WATER
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water
each day, after 12 months we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of
Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are
consuming 2.2 pounds of poop per year.

WINE
We do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka,
beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation
process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

FREE YOURSELF OF POOP ... DRINK WINE
-----------------------------
Nice.

This Week in Environmental Law

Professor Funk on the dangers of herbicide-laced pot: "Nancy Reagan had it right. Just say no. Don't smoke marijuana. And absolutely do not smoke marijuana that has been sprayed with paraquat."

Why do I want to be a lawyer, anyway?

This is the question of the day.

Why, when the job presents about a million chances to mess something up (and I invariably do), would I want to do it every day? Do I like stress? No. Do I enjoy confrontation? It gives me ulcers. Am I looking forward to tackling people's legal problems when they probably know more about the law and procedure than I do? Sounds like a sure road to sanctions for incompetence.

Is there any reason why I shouldn't relocate to Mexico and sell oranges on the side of the highway?

The Captain's enthusiasm is overwhelming

A couple days ago, Captain America decided on his own volition to send out this wedding date announcement:

"It appears that a wedding date has been set for the big event.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Just an FYI for your 2008 calendar that you have yet to purchase.

Captain America (& jennymae)"

I was truly moved by the romantic sentiment, especially when I saw that my name was in parentheses(??)

I'm sure this won't be the last time we hear from the Captain...

my first blog...i'm so proud

I've finally jumped on the blogger bandwagon. I was motivated by my sad attempts to keep in touch with people - hopefully this way I can let everybody know what's new and avoid feeling guilty about not emailing or calling.

This blog isn't just going to be about wedding stuff - I just think that is going to be my life's recurring theme over the next year and a half, so that's why it's called GettinHitched - feel free to post whatever you want as long as naked pictures aren't attached.

So check in often and say hi!

-J